We were fortunate to meet up with Rep. Maxine Waters, Ph.D (Economics, Cambridge) in the cramped office of her think tank in a picturesque quad of Harvard University. When we were escorted into her office, we caught sight of her scratching furiously at a marker board filled with complex formulae, which we later learned, represented the ‘dynamical interactions of a perfect social community.’
Said Dr. Waters: “We have succeeded in creating a parallel universe that is completely separate from and superior in every way to the ordinary Reality that the rest of the planet suffers from. Quite frankly, I don’t know how the person-race managed to survive all these years without our guidance.”
Dr. Waters, pushing up the sleeves of her chalk dust laden smock looked over the rims of her Harry Potter-style specs, continued to marvel us with her plans, “Early experiments conduced in Venezuela and Zimbabwe showed that I was on the right track to establish a paradise with unparalleled opportunities to repair the damage that thousands of years of male, religious, white and cisgender exploitation of person-ity.“
“We are on the verge of creating ‘Heaven,’ or whatever small word you want to call the paradise of the male dominated Abrahamic myths, right here on earth.”
Her eyes seemed to capture the magic of her creative mind, “Imagine! Life without the nightmarish trauma of having to work for a living simply to earn money to afford a month-long tropical cruise.”
“Our party scientists have created a totally cash free society filled with everything that anyone might ever want. Everyone will have the equivalent of $10 million magically appear on their government issued credit card. Anyone who is hungry can simply walk into a restaurant and order anything they want to eat, as well as what their support animals might want to dine on.”
“No work, no borders, no behavioral boundaries of any kind.” She continued, “its like Burning Man, without the man-part.
“First of all, we will ban men and their violence, and the entire country will not only be a gun free zone, but a possible weapon of any sort free zone. No more kitchen knives, no more forks, no more fist-sized or larger stones.
“We have appointed a small, trusted committee who will make all the decisions that everyone will have to obey for their greater good. For their efforts at keeping everyone safe and happy, they will of course be entitled to be honored with additional privileges.”
