Portland, OR – In a bold move against environmental injustice, a new progressive coalition has launched the “Occupy Landfills” movement, declaring that garbage should no longer be “marginalized” in society.
“We realized our privilege in composting,” said activist River Moonfeather, standing waist-deep in refuse while live-streaming from her iPhone 16 Pro Max. “Trash is part of our story. It deserves space, dignity, and a government-funded interpretive center.”
Demands include:
• Federal grants to build eco-conscious yurts on active dump sites.
• A national ban on the phrase “take out the trash,” deemed “degrading and objectifying.”
• Weekly mindfulness circles around decomposing microwaves.
One protester was hospitalized after mistaking a raccoon for a therapy animal.
