JB Pritzker, governor-elect of Madiganistan Announces Plan to Use Fitbit Step Counters to Tax People’s Use of Sidewalks
Billionaire heir JB Pritzker announced today that his plan to ‘fix’ the sad state of Madiganistan’s financial affairs, brought on by decades of wasteful Republican spending in the blood-sucking counties outside of Chicago, announced a novel plan to ‘tax every…
JB Pritzker, Dem Leaders Discuss Plans to Permanently Wipe Out Illinois From Human Awareness For All Eternity
Illinois Democratic Party Officials held a a joint press conference at the James R. Thompson Center last Saturday detailing their plans to wipe Illinois from the face of the Earth. Amiable billionaire JB Pritzker, Heir Apparent of the Illinois region…
City of Chicago changing name to “Thug War Zone of Shit-Cago”
The Chicago Chamber of Commerce along with former Obama chief of staff Rham Emanuel, and Illinois Senate leader Mike Madigan announced that a multi-million dollar marketing research plan showed strong support for the idea, as it well reflects the Shit-Cago…
