The Chicago Chamber of Commerce along with former Obama chief of staff Rham Emanuel, and Illinois Senate leader Mike Madigan announced that a multi-million dollar marketing research plan showed strong support for the idea, as it well reflects the Shit-Cago experience that Democratic Party visitors throng to see.
Emmanuel added, “We are proud that generations of Democratic Party machine lock hold and corruption on the people still alive in Shit-Cago have successfully created what we had long hoped for, a dismal, hopeless urban nightmare of 24/7 murder, crack and heroin for sale on every corner, MS-13 gangs battling with Bloods and Crypts for block by block control of wasteland, zombie like moms and children risking life and limb as they stagger through garbage mounds for morsels of food, and parks that look like Dresden after a fire bombing.”
“Let’s face it….the only way to survive for more than 3 hours in many parts of Shit-Cago, is to be surrounded by a phalanx of highly trained mercenaries fresh back from military service in the war zones of Central and South America,” said Madigan, surrounded by a bakers dozen of fierce looking men wearing the latest full body armor and helmets, carrying nasty looking machine guns and grenade launchers. “We’re hoping that the few brave souls who dare come to Shit-Cago will take advantage of government provided security forces at a low cost to party members.”
JB Pritzer, stepping from his multi-million dollar helicopter, now equipped with the latest available defensive and offensive technologies, said. “The Democratic Party has successfully transformed every American city it controls into areas of devastated, blighted no mans lands of murder, mayhem, illegal drug sales, human waste and used drug needles on every street. San Francisco, Detroit, Baltimore, WDC, New Orleans, Saint Louis, were proud to say that we’ve made our selves rich by destroying them all! And we aren’t done with ordinary cities. Along with hordes of violent peoples imported from throughout the world, we will be able to transform not only every state, but the entire country into a single Thug War Zone Shit Stain of Humanity, just like we were able to do in Zimbabwe and Venezuela. Vote for infected drug-needle embedded human shit on every corner! Vote for generations of useless hopeless lives eeking out a miserable existence! Vote Democratic!”
Doc Woodworth
Ph.D Saint Louis University (Public Policy Analysis)
JD Saint Louis University (Journal Editor)
MBA Central Michigan University (Organizational Behavior)
BA Illinois College (Sociology)
