Slash Sarcasm: NPC Cannon-Fodder Edition

Idiocracy Politics

Indentured Servitude Reparations Gains Momentum in Congress

(Ass. Press)

At a Washington DC press conference yesterday, Congressman (AZ) John O’Brian announced that he had submitted a bill to gain $500 million for all the people alive today that  are suffering from the residual, yet devastatingly weighty, disparate impact of their ancestors having been forced to bind themselves into indentured servitude simply to gain access to the freedom the British colonies offered. 

Studies show that between one-half and two-thirds of European immigrants to the American colonies between the 1630s and American Revolution came under indenture contracts and forced to work under harsh conditions by hateful white masters. 

Said O’Brian, “Four hundred years ago, my Irish ancestors were forced to sign themselves over into slavery for seven years just to get on a ship and come to racist America.  We have suffered greatly since then, even been the brunt of painful, humiliating lazy and drunk jokes.” Here, today, we demand a stop to the hatred and violence that locks our children in virtual cages. Because my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather was forced to work himself almost to death in the bitterly hot and humid Virginia tobacco fields for 7 years, my family has been victimized by extreme socio-economic marginalization ever since.”  

“Had my ancestor not been so enslaved, my poor wife and I would not be living in a typical, cramped three bedroom ranch home in the suburbs. We’d be enjoying the life style of the rich and famous along a canal in posh Miami. But NO! This  injustice must be reconciled!”

Doc Woodworth

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Ph.D Saint Louis University (Public Policy Analysis)
JD Saint Louis University (Journal Editor)
MBA Central Michigan University (Organizational Behavior)
BA Illinois College (Sociology)

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Ph.D Saint Louis University (Public Policy Analysis) JD Saint Louis University (Journal Editor) MBA Central Michigan University (Organizational Behavior) BA Illinois College (Sociology)
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