Slash Sarcasm: NPC Cannon-Fodder Edition

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Cats Protest Dog Supremacy as American Pets

In the traditional battle between cats and dogs, dogs seem to have come out on top. More Americans open their homes to dogs than cats, and more disposable income is spent on dogs than cats. 

Now, according to Dr. Maxine Waters, Ph.d. (Pet Ethics Program, Evergreen University) in her recently released book, “Critical Pet Theory. “The entire American pet industry is vastly inclined to promote the needs of canines over felines.  Canines enjoy Pet Supremacy in every regard. Better food, housing, play times, and of Hollywood acting opportunities in film, television, and commercial advertising.”  

Dr Waters continued, “What we see in America is a history of hate directed at cats. Dogs are presented as heroic creatures, RinTinTin, Lassie. Marmaduke.  Cats, well, there have only been a few cats with any commercial significance are presented in a negative light: TopCat, a rather shady, streetwise tom cat, and of course  ‘finicky’ Morris the Cat, whose fame, as in almost all cat commercials, is linked with the dietary system, from lazily lounging about nibbling on gourmet foods to the completely negative association with litter boxes.”  

“We need to protest out on the street for feline reparations. It should be a sad, humiliating day in America when a single cat is treated like a second class pet citizen.”  

Doc Woodworth

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Ph.D Saint Louis University (Public Policy Analysis)
JD Saint Louis University (Journal Editor)
MBA Central Michigan University (Organizational Behavior)
BA Illinois College (Sociology)

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Ph.D Saint Louis University (Public Policy Analysis) JD Saint Louis University (Journal Editor) MBA Central Michigan University (Organizational Behavior) BA Illinois College (Sociology)
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