Dangerous Movement of Earth’s Magnetic North Pole Toward Russia Caused by Republican Climate Change
(Ass-ociated Propanda)
Earth Scientist and California representative Maxine Waters announced a blue ribbon commission of Democratic Party members to investigate how Republican-caused climate change is causing the magnetic north pole to move toward Russian controlled geography.
“I don’t believe in coincidences,” said Dr. Waters, who received an honorary Ph.d degree in geoscience from Hillsdale College, “Why is the pole moving toward Russia?”
Dr. Waters continued, “Our planet is like a giant magnet. And climate change is affecting the iron particles in the interior of the earth beneath our feet to point toward Siberia. A devious plot caused by Republican agents of Russia like Trump are working to make the pole completely Russian.”
The result?
According to Political Outrage Specialist Alexandra Occasional Cortez, the climate change induced movement of the magnetic pole to Putin’s Evil Empire means that “Republicans, especially Trump and his horde of sadistic, demonic supporters, are responsible for the tragic end of all life on planet Earth.”
The solution?
Said Dr. Waters, “We must reduce Republican-caused carbon dioxide expulsion in each and every breath. $200 trillion, paid for by Republican billionaires, will keep climate change from moving the pole toward Putin.
Doc Woodworth
Ph.D Saint Louis University (Public Policy Analysis)
JD Saint Louis University (Journal Editor)
MBA Central Michigan University (Organizational Behavior)
BA Illinois College (Sociology)
