HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITIES BUILDING SPACE SHIP “ARK” TO ESCAPE PLANET IF TRUMP WINS
In a press conference this morning in Burbank, California, investigative reporter Byron Graves displayed video of a gigantic star ship under construction in an undisclosed location south of Baja, California. The star ship, named “Uhuru,” an African-Tanzanian word for ‘freedom,’…
Indentured Servitude Reparations Gains Momentum in Congress
(Ass. Press) At a Washington DC press conference yesterday, Congressman (AZ) John O’Brian announced that he had submitted a bill to gain $500 million for all the people alive today that are suffering from the residual, yet devastatingly weighty, disparate…
Biden Administration Nominated for Nobel Prize in Physics for Successfully Manufacturing Complete Withdrawal From Reality
(Head Wine News Exclusive) In Stockholm earlier this evening, Nobel Prize President Faroush McKoozie and Theoretical Ethical Physics Department Chair Maxine Waters, Ph.D. announced that both Joe Biden and press secretary Jen Psaki received an overwhelming vote for their recent…
Cats Protest Dog Supremacy as American Pets
In the traditional battle between cats and dogs, dogs seem to have come out on top. More Americans open their homes to dogs than cats, and more disposable income is spent on dogs than cats. Now, according to Dr. Maxine…
Senate Democratic Party Leadership To Hire Barnum and Bailey Traveling Circus to Disrupt Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings
At a news conference packed with throngs of supportive reporters, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D, San Francisco) announced that the Democratic Party, in sponsorship with Planned Parenthood, the Screen Actors Guild, and the Soros Foundation, the hiring of the…
Study Reveals People infected With Trump Derangement Syndrome Exceed CV-19 Positive Test Numbers
(A PEE News Exclusive) CDC Director Anthony Fauci, MD. Ph.D, hastily emerged from a flurry of sycophantic morning TV talk shows to announce that ‘harsh, draconian measures’ would soon be in place to prevent any further spread of Trump Derangement…